Rising of The Phoenix – Part One

Rising of The Phoenix:

Part One


“And once the storm is over,
you won’t remember how you made it through,
how you managed to survive.
You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over.
But one thing is certain.
When you come out of the storm,
you won’t be the same person who walked in.
That’s what this storm’s all about.”
 – Haruki Murakami

 

Approximately five years ago I went into hiding.  No I didn’t rob a bank, or worked uncover for some mob.  But personally, emotionally, spiritually I retreated within myself.  Without knowing it, all of us have a particular secret negative belief about ourselves that feels so devastating, it can take us down an unbearable dark hole of emotional pain.  My quest to understand my own emotional pain has taken me to places I had thought I already knew.  However, the universe has a way to teaching in different ways.  I choose to continue to use pain to further myself and my clientele and their life path. 

For years, I was told by clients that I was the “go-to” psychic medium and life coach for hundreds, if not more, of regular clients around the world, from Canada to the United States and as far as Australia and Spain. Some of my clients only looked to me for advice and guidance for the past fifteen years or more. They gladly paid the fee for my services whether the reading was in-person, via email, or telephone because they felt that what they received in return was priceless.

Many would tell me that my spiritual insight and wisdom would stay with them for years, and that they would look back on their recorded reading or notes as a reference, especially when facing the huge annoying obstacles and lessons that Life has a habit of throwing our way.

I can honestly say that I was at the top of my game, and I was on fire!

I have been featured in several television appearances, including Entertainment Tonight (Canada), and my story and career made the cover of several magazines including OMTimes and Soulwoman. There were talks of a book and television show about my past, my career, and my skills as a psychic medium. I required several personal assistants to handle my appointments with clients, my ongoing appearances on the radio, frequent live events across the prairies, and endless projects.

I was tireless and relentless for many, many years.

While managing my successful career, I somehow managed to raise three pre-teenage daughters (now ages 10, 12, and 18), and work on my marriage which was slowly falling apart.

Known for my down-to-earth and – so they tell me – sassy personality and sharp witty comebacks, I was sought after to the point where I had to finally just say “Enough.”

I needed rest.

It was time to turn off the spotlight for a while.

The inevitable divorce took a huge toll on me. Once married to a man I thought I knew, he totally blind-sided me before, during, and throughout, the marriage. I went in being true. He didn’t. The divorce didn’t devastate me.  The lack of respect, moral/values that I thought this person had the qualities of devastated me.  How could someone intentionally hurt another human being.  Lesson 121,000 – there are selfish people who only think of themselves no matter the cost.

To add to the already huge stress load, my mother passed away March 2017, my biological father passed in April 2017 and my brother’s health continues to be an issue.

Although I have been told that I am the epitome of strength with incredible control over even the most crippling emotions, for the first time ever in my life, I finally had to admit I needed to just stop everything. Normally always there for others, always being strong and giving, everyone’s eternal Decision-Maker, I had very little choice other than to emotionally withdraw.

While my mind was still strong and fierce, my body and soul were begging me to stop.

I care what others say. I have an ego! I’ll admit it. We all do.

I care a lot for others too — but I care for myself, my well-being, and my family a lot more.

It’s hard to save others when you yourself and your family is drowning.

I, Barb Mather (formerly Powell) — the one many called Queen of All Psychics — made the decision to step down…..

 

(…to be continued in Part Two)

 

Can you relate?
What are you ongoing goals?
Do you currently have obstacles?
How do you deal with emotional pain?
Have you ever been deceived?

___________________________________________________________________________

Barb Mather
Psychic Medium
  Contact Here

Comments

  1. Totally understand, and identify. I could have written some of those words. Decompressing is needed, especially if you have previously given so much. Take time. Don’t burn out. Enjoy your family. Find your balance. Its good for you!

    • Yes, maybe that’s it. We give too much, or perhaps don’t give enough to ourselves….we just forget. We all know about balance right, but I feel that we can’t recognize we are losing balance and by the time we realize (if we’re lucky to realize), it’s too late and the darkness outweighs the light.
      I just feel it’s important to be ‘real’ and ‘true’. Nobody is immune to burnout and overthinking, nobody….and it’s ok to say I need a break and understand why we need a break.

  2. I am in the middle of a storm too. I almost wish I could trade this emotional pain for a physical injury and stop feeling like I have to explain myself. I feel betrayed, not for the first time, but for the last. The anger propels me through. People can be so cruel. Sometimes I don’t recognize myself. I worry I will never trust anybody again or be able to give my heart. I worry I have lost my tenderness and that nobody will ever love me again. I need to and I will rise above this. Thank you Barb for sharing your journey as well. This road does not have to be travelled alone.

    • Betrayal is a huge, painful sore that can never heal…it’s just there being ugly. We, of course, don’t have to allow it to rule our choices and decisions…that’s an important point to think about. Yes, people can be very cruel but it comes from selfishness and has nothing to do with us. We can look at ourselves and think I could have handled this or that better and it may just be true…just learn. Not, I shouldn’t have trusted or…..because that can lead to a scar that is thick and hard to hide. In order to get what we desire, we must be able to risk our heart again knowing it can be shattered.
      I know for myself I refuse to allow what has happened to me destroy who I want to be and who I am as a female.

  3. Awe I’m so sorry Barb. I can totally relate in all that.. I am still healing and I have no clue what to do next with the start of my divorce or even start. I know I made the right choice and got out of it but life has been draining me right out lately. Only way I deal with my pain is the new man in my life now and I feel horrible him having to see me like that but somedays it’s too hard to hold in anynore. Every where I try to turn something slams that door so I’m standing still..trying to get up the courage to move on. I still keep going with my furniture refinishing and crafting etc but it’s been slow and nothing selling so it brings me down lower. People have asked if I’m still continuing on readings as well I also took a step back after I had seen things I didn’t want to see. Shut it down for the time being until I can mentally and emotionally heal. If u have any advice on how to go about my divorce because I have no idea what to do. My ex is a narsasissic a** and knows I’m damaged and using that to his advantage when I’m down and so much more including bad mouthing me in front of our kids. My family all left here Its just me here so my energy level is next to nothing. I don’t even have the energy to try meditate and heal. Can’t focus at all. I am sorry about the passing of ur family. And u are an amazing beautiful woman inside and out with a gift like no other I’ve seen i am so glad i had the privlege of meeting u and working with u and most of all learning from you i wish u strength to get through all of your obstices in life atm take care barb xoxo .

    • Thanks for commenting Lana! Change is difficult for anyone but change can be good. I tend to hold onto the fact that I know I did right, and so hopefully can you hold onto the fact that you did right. Then allow the universe to take it from there, because at times it’s all we have the energy to do. Just know that you made the right decision even when things get incredibly tough and that one day you’ll look back and be grateful. I know I am grateful and glad I had the strength to plow through. I live for myself, my children and live in the way that my loved ones in spirit would want me to do and be proud of the fact that they too struggled in their own way and I am their legacy…that all their effort and pain made my life better in many ways and I shouldn’t give up because of the way I’m feeling. This I want to teach my children to also do.
      I suggest to be honest within yourself and ask yourself why, why do you feel the way you do…guilt? shame? what is it you want? we have to look upon life as something simple, because in some ways it is, but we complicate it….if we want to loose weight, we exercise and control eating….it’s a choice. For you, it may be a trip to the doctor to get a check up, blood work, etc….gather support system and not back down from anything or anyone (ex) that wants to destroy you because of their own issues….
      You will get through this, in some ways you gone through worse and made it through…

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